I don't have my shit together... (But I'm cool with it).
the other week I had one of the shittest days I’ve had in a while.
There was a bunch of stuff that wasn’t going well, and it also hit me that it was two years to the day since I moved back to New Zealand, after spending a year in Canada. (Random side note for context — Canada has a special place in my heart, and I’ve been applying for residency there since I left... with no luck).
For the most part, I’ve been living with my fam in NZ since then, and while it’s rad to hang with them and be back here — I know that this particular area in NZ isn’t where I want to be… I feel like I’ve been hanging around waiting to get residency in Canada, or waiting for something to happen that would prompt me to move somewhere else in the mean time, or you know... just waiting until I got my shit together.
So on this super lame day the other week, instead of trying to pretend that everything was rainbows + unicorns (which is what I usually do…), I decided I need to fuck off for the afternoon and just sit with my shit and accept that it was not a great day. Naturally, that involved eating pizza in my car, by myself, at the lake on a rainy + cold + not-so-pretty day, while busting out the new Lido album... Duh.
It hit me that ‘having your shit together’ seems kinda overrated. What even defines ‘having your shit together’? And who says it’s a pre-requisite for making a change or doing something new in your life?
So, between me and my pizza and Lido, there was a lot of self-acceptance on that day... A lot of surrender… And mostly just a decision to move forward and do stuff regardless of how I thought my life ‘should’ look.
'Surrender to the misbelief that you need to have your shit together to make a decision and move forward.’ — Amber Rae
Most days I feel like a hot mess just trying to do life on my own terms + make cool stuff + have fun with cool people… So instead of feeling like a loser for not having my ‘shit together’, imma own it.
You with me?
ps. If you do feel like you have your shit together — fucking mad hi5's.