I Surrender

We’re almost at the end of January, and I want to say the first month of 2016 has been amazing and such a great start to the year, but if I’m totally honest, it’s been stressful. And very… full.

I knew it was going to be full — as I was finishing up some client work and also working towards the re-launch of my course, but I underestimated it a lot.

I had put all of these ridiculous expectations on myself without even really realizing it. I was trying to do it all. I thought I could.

Inevitably, this week shit started going south. Things weren’t going as I expected them to and I’d filled my plate up too much, so I started freaking out and I literally felt like running away from my computer…

So, that’s what I did. (I know this isn’t always the answer… But you know you need a break when your right hand is cramped and sore as fuck from being on your computer way too much). I decided to take a day off and escape to the lake for some chill-time.

I found my spot off to the side where hopefully no one would come and park right next to me, I threw my blanket on the ground, chowed down some sushi, and then committed to doing NOTHING but lying there in the shade. (But let’s be honest — it took me about 10mins of being glued to my phone before I had to throw it back in my car and ACTUALLY committed to doing nothing).

So lying there under the tree, this kept running through my mind…

I fucking surrender. I surrender to the expectations I put on myself.

We forget that we have no control over the outcome of our situation, and we set the goals and we go-go-go and we get so damn attached to those expected outcomes that the journey towards them becomes a little murky.

But in reality, all we can do is act in alignment with our goals and our vision, and trust that as long as we do that — whatever we need will be given to us.

I know this is something that’s talked about in the Desire Map too… You can know how you want to feel, but you have to stay open to the ways in which that feeling will show up.

So, let’s be done with expectations, yeah?

Less focus on the stuff you can’t control (i.e. the outcome), more focus on the stuff you can control (i.e. the input).